Funny Halloween Sayings

To get in the spirit of the sillier side of Halloween, check out these super-cute and funny Halloween sayings and quotes. Maybe one will inspire you to dress up as a crazy character to hand out candy or invite your friends over for a pun-tastic costume party.

• I'm just hanging out with my ghoul fiends tonight!
• I'm thinking of joining my local vampire club. Apparently, they're always looking for new blood.
• What do you call the ghost of a door-to-door salesman? A dead ringer.
• I'd dress up as Siri for Halloween if my life didn't already entail being asked stupid questions all day.
• I want to be something really scary for Halloween this year, so I'm dressing up as a phone battery at two percent.
• For Halloween, I've decided the easiest thing to do is give up caffeine. If that doesn't terrify everyone around me, nothing will.
• Halloween is the only time I can convince others that my children are monsters.
• I remember when Halloween was the scariest night of the year. Now it's election night.
• The older you get, the harder it is to find someone to share a horse costume with you.
• The adults celebrate the First of November as International Eat Your Kid's Halloween Candy After They Fall Asleep Day.
• The only thing we have to fear is fear itself ... and spiders.
• For Halloween, we dressed up as almonds. Everyone could tell we were nuts!

If you’re looking for sayings to use to make cute Halloween signs or to incorporate into Halloween cards, some shorter sayings might better meet your needs! Add any of these catchphrases — or create your own using your favorite spooky Halloween words — to your project, along with fun, seasonal graphics.

• Caution! Little monsters at play.
• Howl-oween happenings!
• Mummy bandage repair station.
• Master pumpkin carvers at play.
• No costume, no service!
• Little monsters on the loose!
• Broom parking.
• Zombie crossing.
• Hurry, hurry, not to worry, ghosts and goblins all must scurry!
• Hairy and scary monsters, oh my!
• Fangtastic and fabulous!
• My bff is a zombie!
• Ghouls only!
• I want my mummy!
• Give me all your candy!
• So scary, be wary!
• My other car is a broom.
• Do you believe in magic?
• Get batty for Halloween!
• Have no fear — safe passage to all who enter here!
• No bite is too big or too small!

Sometimes the funniest Halloween sayings are quotes from someone else. Check out these cute options, which include some well-known quotes as well as sayings from celebrities.

• “Trick or Treat. Smell my feet. Give me something good to eat. Give me candy. Give me cake. Give me something sweet to take!” - Monty Harper
• "Remember when we used to worry about some weirdo having a razor blade inside an apple on Halloween? Not anymore. Like a kid today would eat an apple." - Jay Leno
• "I'll bet living in a nudist colony takes all the fun out of Halloween." - Charles S. Swartz
• "A group of wine experts has actually come up with a list of the best wines to pair with Halloween candy. They say white wine goes great with Skittles, red wine goes great with Twix, and ... we're alcoholics, aren't we?'" - Jimmy Fallon
• "This Halloween the most popular mask is the Arnold Schwarzenegger mask. And the best part? With a mouth full of candy you will sound just like him." - Conan O'Brien
• "For Halloween, everyone on my street has bodies in their lawns. It's like living in Florida." - Jason Love
• "The real monsters are the people that give away little boxes of raisins instead of Halloween candy." - Mike Raphone
• "Halloween was confusing. All my life my parents said, 'Never take candy from strangers.' And then they dressed me up and said, 'Go beg for it." - Rita Rudner
• "Last Halloween was bad for me. I got beat up. I went to a party dressed as a piñata." - Jim Samuels
• "The only thing that really scares me about Halloween is running out of candy." - Melanie White
• "For Halloween I'm gonna be emotionally stable. No one's gonna know it's me." - Andrea Gibson

When Halloween rolls around, you can get creative and decorate by making a few signs with your favorite funny quotes or deliver one of these one-liners at a party as a great joke. Mix a little, or a lot, of humor into Halloween night and you're sure to be the life and soul (or is that ghoul?) of the party wherever you go.