Funny Epitaph Examples

It likely will not surprise their fans to learn that some of the world’s funniest comics and comedians have some rather funny last words on their tombstones. However, using humor on a grave marker is certainly not limited to those who worked professionally in comedy; even notorious train robbers can have a sense of humor.

• “There goes the neighborhood.” - Rodney Dangerfield (1921-2004), American comedian and actor
• “I had a lover’s quarrel with the world.” - Robert Frost (1874-1963), American poet most famous for “The Road Not Taken”
• “That’s all folks.” - Mel Blanc (1908-1989), most famous for voicing Bugs Bunny and Porky Pig
• “3.14159265358979323846264338327950288” - Ludolph van Ceulen (1540-1610), German-Dutch mathematician who calculated the value of pi to 35 digits
• "O.K... I gotta go now." - Dee Dee Ramone, American musician
• “I will not be right back after this message.” - Merv Griffin (1925-2007), American television host, creator of Jeopardy! and Wheel of Fortune
• “He never voted for Republicans and had little to do with them.” - William “Bill” Herrell Kugle (1925-1992), member of the Texas House of Representatives
• “When I was in the military, they gave me a medal for killing two men and a discharge for loving one.” - Leonard Matlovich (1943-1988), first member of U.S. military to come out as gay in 1975
• “Let ‘er rip.” - Leslie Nielsen (1926-2010), Canadian actor and comedian, famous for The Naked Gun series
• “For her epitaph, she suggested ‘Excuse my dust.’ This memorial garden is dedicated to her noble spirit which celebrated the oneness of humankind…” - Dorothy Parker (1893-1967), American humorist and writer of biting satire

These epitaphs from real gravestones show that regular people, not just celebrities, can have some fun with their last moments and into eternity too.

• “Raised four beautiful daughters with only one bathroom and still there was love.” - Unknown
• “I was supposed to live to be 102 and be shot by a jealous husband.” - Jerry L. Farrer
• “Connection reset by peer. He came, he saw, he tagged out.” - P. Andersen
• “I came here without being consulted and I leave without my consent.” - Gravestone in St. Elmo Cemetery
• “Uncle Walter loved to spend. He had no money in the end. But with many a whiskey and many a wife, he really did enjoy his life.” - Walter W. Stauffen
• “Damn it’s dark down here.”- Frances E. Thatcher
• “It’s five o’clock somewhere!” - Bill Doubt
• “Abandoned in old age by wife and children. May God be more understanding and merciful.” - Andrew J. Olszak
• “My brother was good at pissing people off.” - Cecil O’Dell Eads
• “I’d rather be reading this.” - Esther A. Freer
• “Ma loves Pa - Pa loves women. Ma caught Pa, with 2 in Swimmin. Here lies Pa…” - Lawrence L. Cook, Jr.
• “We finally found a place to park in Georgetown!” - Katharine Phelps Brown Ivison and Sterling Hollinshead Ivison, Jr.
• “He loved bacon. Oh, and his wife and kids too.” - Unknown
• “Two things I love most, good horses and beautiful women, and when I die, I hope they tan this old hide of mine and make it into a ladies riding saddle, so I can rest in peace between the two things I love most.” - Russell J. Larsen
• “Oh well what ever.” - Lola S. Holt

Whether you’re thinking about what you’d like to include on your own grave marker or you’re just looking for some macabre laughs, consider a few of these original ideas. There are even a few funny epitaphs that rhyme!

• They said I made my bed. Now, I’m lying in it. And it’s the pits.
• I told you these taxes were killing me!
• I didn’t realize this was a one-way street.
  Now, my maker I shall meet.
• Finally all dressed up and decked to the nines, but with nowhere to go.
• My wife said I lie all the time. So, here I lie.
• This isn’t the end. It’s a new beginning. BRB.
• Jane walked upon this Earth for a while, until she met that crocodile.
• Caught for a robbery that I blundered
  And thrown in jail for my failed plunder
  For breaking the locks
  They put me in a box
  And now I lie buried six feet under
• Now I can finally rest without that incessant snoring.
• The second fastest draw in the West.
• To the memory of one Sarah Cattrall
  Whose friends say she was one swell gal
  Except for that time she cursed out a waiter
  And hit him on the head with a cheese grater
  What ever did bait her?

It’s important to be supportive and respectful when speaking at a funeral. And while the trying time can be filled with tears, it’s also an opportunity to celebrate the life of the deceased.

Take these examples of humor and examples of puns as inspiration to help lift the mood of your fellow mourners.